What is Imposter Syndrome?

What is imposter syndrome? Imposter syndrome is a common yet often misunderstood belief system which can significantly impact our confidence in nearly every area of our life. In this blog post, we'll dive into what imposter syndrome is and provide insights into what it sounds like when you or someone you know might be struggling with it.

Unpacking Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome refers to feeling self-doubt and the fear of being exposed as a fraud despite past evidence of success. It is not a diagnosis but a common pattern of thinking that impacts people and causes them a lot of stress and anxiety. People experiencing imposter syndrome often attribute their achievements to luck, or sneakily passing as good enough to fool others. They have worries about being found out due to feelings of inadequacy and a fear of failure. If you ever found yourself asking: what is imposter syndrome these nine signs will help you better understand what it is.

1. Self-Doubt When Out of Your Comfort Zone

Imposter syndrome often occurs when we are doing something new and stretching ourselves in some way to reach a new goal or putting ourselves out there in a way we haven’t before. Whenever we reach our own glass ceiling, imposter syndrome can rear its ugly head and start making us question our decisions and cause some serious self-doubt. Often, imposter syndrome is a sign of growth and trying something new. It’s a sign you are moving forward. Being aware of what you are saying to yourself in these moments is especially important. Self-talk can either reassure you or cause you to get so overwhelmed you give up. Our body is sensitive to change, especially when that change is new and unfamiliar. Self-doubt is a way the body tries to keep things the same to avoid discomfort and potentially threatening situations.

2. Feeling Not Good Enough

Often people who grew up not feeling good enough struggle with imposter syndrome. It’s an old wound that reactivates anytime we feel threatened or inferior to others. It can be the result of stored trauma in childhood and result from feeling a lot of shame about who we are and how we fit in the world. Feeling not good enough, is a feeling and not a fact about us. The fact is we have achieved success and grown in many areas throughout our lives, we can continue to grow and learn. Feeling not good enough is a sign we need more support and encouragement in developing skills.

3. Perfectionism

Imposer syndrome can also come from feelings of perfectionism, the thought that we have to be perfect, and anything less than perfect is completely wrong and unacceptable. When we grow up with strict and rigid standards from the people in our life, or strict societal expectations, we learn that making mistakes isn’t okay and that we are unacceptable when we do. When making “mistakes” is simply part of the learning process that we need them to grow and learn. Think of a young child learning to walk, when they topple over it is not considered bad, it is a normal part of the learning process. They learn they need to balance or have one foot securely planted before moving the other foot. Same with us, we need grace to learn and explore and figure things out. Perfectionism is a trap, we need to practice self-compassion to help ourselves through it and decrease the fear that comes with imposter syndrome.

4. Harsh Inner Critic

People with imposter syndrome often have a harsh inner voice that fears failure or rejection from others. It causes them to feel deep shame and hide perceived flaws from others, rather than being open about them and getting support to work through them. The reality is most people struggle and have difficulty accepting themselves at some point in their lives. When we hide our struggles from others, we increase our internalized shame and the belief we are not good enough. To work through imposter syndrome, we need to lean into these feelings and develop safe relationships where we can discuss our struggles as a normal part of the learning process and develop self-compassion.

5. Difficulty Remembering Past Successes

People with imposter syndrome often have difficulty remembering and drawing on past successes that got them to where they are today. They struggle with all or nothing thinking processes. For example, I am either good enough or not good enough. When the reality is we are all good enough, but have both strengths and weaknesses, we don’t have to be perfect to be lovable. In fact, perfection pushes people away and authenticity attracts others and invites them in. Being authentic and vulnerable about things can be scary at first, but it is also healing. If you are vulnerable with someone and they use that against you repeatedly when you try to set a boundary with them, it is a sign that that person is not healthy for your growth and not that you are not good enough.

Reminding ourselves of our successes helps us have a sense or safety going into a hard situation. It helps us believe that change is possible, and we have some skills to get us through the hard parts.

6. Unsafe Relationships

Safe people help us feel accepted, loved, and good enough. Unsafe people criticize, talk down to us. And cause us to feel not good enough. Make sure that if you are experiencing imposter syndrome, the people in your life are in fact safe people. If they are not, it’s hard to outgrow toxic relationships to feel good about yourself despite mistreatment. Your old wounds will continue to get agitated and prevent healing. Make sure you are being a safe person to yourself through kind and compassionate self-talk.

7. Feeling Overwhelmed and Dysregulated

Imposter syndrome often occurs when we are dysregulated and overwhelmed. Check in with yourself, are you feeling overwhelmed? Step back and take a break, when the body is calm the mind with follow. Use coping skills, stay away from your phone a while, to decrease stimulation. When you are feeling calm again you can think more clearly and remember that this is temporary and that you have got what it takes to get through this.

8. Rejecting Praise

If you find yourself downplaying compliments or attributing your success to external factors (e.g., luck or the help of others), this could be a sign of imposter syndrome. When we don’t receive praise and let it in, this is a sign we are emotionally closed off to positive things. Allow yourself to let your guard down a little and say thank you to accept a well-intentioned thank you. You must start to slowly let people in and that includes letting in some of the good and believing other people when they see you in a positive light. If you always push the light away, none will get in, and you will continue feeling like an imposter and struggling with feelings of shame and self-doubt.

9. Comparing Yourself to Others

Constantly comparing your achievements to others and feeling inferior, even when you are successful in your own right, is a sign of imposter syndrome. We often compare our inner insecurities with others highlight reel. We assume that others didn’t struggle to get where they are. Feeling not good enough is a feeling and not a fact about you. It happens when we are stressed out. Do something to regulate your emotions and find a more grounded state so you can work through it. Be authentic to who you are, admit when something is not your forte, don’t expect yourself to be a master in all areas. It’s okay to stick to the things you are good at and say no when something is too far out of your comfort zone.

Imposter Syndrome can be debilitating and hard to get through. By understanding what it is and recognizing its telltale signs, you can take steps to overcome it, build confidence, and help you work through it when it comes up.