My Partner Triggers My Trauma: What to Do
It can be difficult to navigate the difficult emotions and anxiety that come after trauma. Many times the relationships with those we are closest with are impacted the most. It is important to remember that we are not alone in this struggle and that there are resources and strategies we can use to help us get through these situations. This blog post will focus on what to do when your partner triggers your trauma, including trauma therapy, self-care practices, and communication strategies.
Recognize your triggers
When it comes to dealing with trauma, understanding your triggers is the first step. A trigger is an event or situation that brings back traumatic memories, emotions, and physical sensations associated with a past traumatic experience. Knowing what your triggers are can help you anticipate when you might be feeling overwhelmed, so that you can take steps to help yourself feel safe and secure. It’s important to remember that triggers can vary from person to person—what may be a trigger for one person may not be for another. Triggers can include anything from a certain sound or smell to a certain gesture or location.
Start by exploring your feelings and thoughts when something happens or is said that causes a reaction in you. Notice any physical symptoms such as tensing muscles, shallow breathing, or dizziness. All of these things could be clues that something has triggered you. It is important to be aware of what is causing distress so you can make a plan to work through it. By taking the time to understand what your triggers are and what happens when you experience them when they come up.
Use Coping Strategies
When your partner triggers your trauma, it can be difficult to keep a level head. To help manage these moments, it's important to have coping strategies that you can turn to. Taking a break and using strategies to regulate your emotions can help you get back in control and regain clarity.
Deep breathing is a great way to slow down your heart rate and calm yourself down. Focusing on the breath and inhaling for four seconds and then exhaling for six seconds can help you clear your head and allow you to make decisions from a more objective place. Remember it is hard to have a productive conversation when you are overwhelmed. Take time to reset and use coping strategies to help you feel more in control.
Mindfulness techniques such as using calming affirmations, walking, and stretching can also help you to relax and recenter yourself. By being mindful of your body and mind, you can allow yourself time and space to reset.
It's also important to focus on self-care and to do things that make you feel good. Whether it's listening to music, watching a movie, or taking a hot bath, self-care activities can provide an outlet for stress and help you to stay grounded.
By taking the time to practice self-care and use these coping strategies, you can be better equipped to handle any triggers that come up.
Talk to Your Partner
It is important to talk to your partner about your triggers. Try to explain to them what has been happening and how it makes you feel. It can be difficult to open up, so start by asking your partner if they’re willing to listen and learn about your triggers.
Explain that you need your partner’s help and understanding. Ask if they will support you in listening and helping you manage situations.
Encourage your partner to ask questions if there is anything they don’t understand. Be honest and open with your communication.
Let your partner know what specific feelings come upfor you in a situation. Remember, it is not your partner's fault you are having this feeling the goal is to just let them know what happens and ask for their support. Be careful not to blame them for your feelings, instead help them to understand that the situation can be difficult for them and you want their support in managing it. While it’s important to be upfront with them, it is also important to allow them the space to express themselves without fear of judgement. Once your partner is aware of what triggers you, you can work together on ways to support each other and prevent the situation from happening in the future.
Your partner is there to support you and it is okay to seek help and guidance. With the right communication, patience, and understanding, you can work together to develop healthier habits and create a stronger bond between the two of you.
Establish Boundaries with Your Partner
It can be difficult to establish boundaries with your partner. The key is to communicate your needs and desires clearly and openly. Start by expressing what you need from your partner. Be clear about what you are uncomfortable with and what you are comfortable with. Explain how your partner's behavior affects you, and why it is important for you to set boundaries. Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is important for your mental health and well-being.
Be sure to communicate any changes in your boundaries to your partner, as this can help prevent misunderstandings. Remember: setting boundaries is an important part of a healthy relationship. Establishing these boundaries with your partner can help protect both of you from further hurt and trauma.
Seek Help and Support
It can be difficult to work through trauma on your own, so if your partner is triggering your trauma, it’s important to seek help from a professional. A therapist can help you identify triggers and learn how to manage them. They can also help you process and address the underlying issues that cause your trauma. If your partner’s actions are affecting your mental health, it is important to talk to a mental health professional. They will be able to provide valuable insight on coping with trauma and help you establish better boundaries with your partner. Finally, they can also recommend ways to strengthen your relationship and support you through the individual healing processes. Seeking counseling is an important step in managing and overcoming trauma, so don’t hesitate to reach out for support.
Marriage counseling is also a great resource to help you and your partner have these important conversations in a supportive environment. Often it is hard for couples to have these conversations because change is hard and can feel unsettling for both partners, even in the healthiest of relationships. Having an unbiased supportive person to help you both lay the groundwork for healthy communication is an invaluable investment in a relationship.
